Custody: To Modify, or Not to Modify?

I get calls occasionally from people unsure whether to get custody modifications in family law matters.  These usually occur in situations where they and their ex-spouse have voluntarily changed custody arrangements and want to know if they should get a court order modifying the prior court-ordered arrangments to the new arrangements.  The answer?  It depends.  Do you want the new custody arrangements to not change?  If so, then you should probably hire a lawyer and get a modification. 

Now, some people think that just because their ex-spouse agreed to the new custody arrangements that they will permit those arrangements to stay in effect, or at least will be reasonable in the future with agreeing to custody arrangements.  Maybe they will, and you have to be the judge.  But experience has shown that people who rely on the good faith of their ex are sometimes burned.  Remember: this person you divorced is someone you could not get along with, who violated your trust, or for whatever reason you could not stand to remain married to them.  Do you want them to be able to come back at a later time, in a year or even tomorrow, and say they have changed their mind?  Without a modification in hand, you have no guarantee you can keep custody arrangements the way they are (and you may find yourself purchasing a dartboard with your ex's face on it to work out the angst you are now feeling).

That's why in nearly every case, even if you and your ex-spouse cooperate on all levels post-divorce, it is safest to go ahead and get the modification.  In the very least, you should consult an attorney in the matter (and probably be told you need the modification).